Author: Jenny Bowers

The power of Listening, and being Heard (Thank you NHS)

By Jenny Bowers on

The power of Listening, and being Heard (Thank you NHS)

Posted on February 27, 2021

The power of listening, and of being heard!

The last two weeks I have been on a bit of a journey with the NHS. Challenging during the lockdown, but ultimately a positive experience and I have been well cared for all the way through. It got me thinking again about listening, about being heard, but then also the ‘so what/what next’ stage.

From the 15th to 24th February, I had 4 appointments over the phone with photos shared with the GP. They were great and attempted to fix me. This also included a virtual walk in session over video at the weekend. On the fourth appointment the GP response was ‘you need to go to A&E.’ Our treatment isn’t working, this may need intervention.

So my partner drops me at A&E, I am triaged. However, I need to go to Huddersfield as that is where the SAU unit is and I am in Halifax. They are apologetic, can I get there myself or do I need transport? My partner is called and dutifully he taxis me over.

When I enter SAU in Huddersfield, my name and info is already on the board. they were expecting me. A nurse comes and does my observations and I sit.

I am then taken to a room, a lovely doctor has a brief look and touch, and then agrees it is an abscess and it is looking nasty and it needs to be drained, today. It is now 2:45pm. They are going to put me on the list, find me a bed and get it sorted. He goes through the pro’s and cons of local v general anaesthetic, I vote for General, he smiles, a little relieved, I think that is the right choice he says, before running through the risks again. He runs through my medical history and allergies again and then says he’ll find out timing. At this point I message my partner, I need my glasses, as I had put in my contacts before leaving the house. The doctor comes back, good news he says, we will have a bed for you, we can do this today. Not so good news, I am on a waiting list so will not go down for a few hours yet, that greatly increases the chances of staying overnight. I ask if my partner can bring a bag and my glasses, he says absolutely, he can drop them off (He can’t come in though). Instructions dispatched to partner and I get in my gown.

At this point I am impressed by the speed, efficiency and organisation. I am also incredibly impressed by the level of care and compassion shown. The staff are getting on and doing their job but also listening and noticing and responding. I am feeling safe and ok.

My bag is dropped and brought to me by a nurse, we have a little giggle as my partner had got a little lost on the way!

I am taken to ward 1 as the bed is ready. New staff, same level of compassion and care despite the fact they are obviously busy. People pop by to see me, to check on me, my allergies, my history. To give me the heads up on timing and the fact that it will be shift change so the people talking to me now about the operation will not be the ones doing it. (A nice touch).

I go down bang on 8pm, as they said I would, having a nice  little chat as we go about  nothing in particular. COVID has not been mentioned at all, apart from when they apologised as I had to do a test. It is hovering around us though, with the masks and the distancing where possible and the endless hand sanitisers around the place.

Into theatre. They realise there is no cannula in. I apologise, I have very awkward deep veins and after they had trouble getting blood in Halifax A&E decisions had been made to leave it to the ‘experts’ in theatre to do it when needed. I can sense a few wry and cheerful smiles even with the masks, not to worry we’ll sort it they say. I inform them of the best site, and reassure them that I won’t feint or vomit or anything and then there are four of them trying to get the blasted thing in me and reassuring me at the same time. Calm heads, soothing voices, determination and some local anaesthetic so they could adjust it works. It is in and I am falling asleep.

I wake up. Dry mouth, very dry mouth, they have water ready to sip. Cheerful voices again welcoming me back. Success they tell me. So I’m heading back to the ward. I am brought toast, the best toast ever, and a lovely proper cup of tea. I know I am going to get very little sleep, this is ok with me, I read, they pop in doing observations on me and my fellow patient in the bed next door. The night ebbs and flows, although they are clearly being quiet there is still noise. At one point I hear gentle laughter from the nurses station. It is a strangely reassuring sound. Amongst all the bustling and work and difficulties in the current situation there is clearly camaraderie and team work on this ward. I like it.

From 7am things get more bustling, a very cheerful loud fun support worker comes in and announces it is breakfast time and what do we fancy? He also tells us he likes our bay as it is cool (we had the window open all night!) We get introduced to the day staff as shift change has occurred again. The doctor comes to see me. Very happy, I can go home! The nurse will just change my dressing and do my paperwork and remove my cannula and then I can go.

I message my partner excited. I am coming home! ‘How soon?’ he asks. I’m not entirely sure, but this morning. (I am aware that sometimes discharge can take time!) The nurse comes in, right lets get you sorted she says. She is going to discharge me now! I am crazy excited, she smiles. I apologise, she says there’s no need, it is good to send patients home happy and feeling ok. She does what she needs to do quickly, efficiently and with compassion and then I’m in my clothes and go meet my partner at the entrance. I am home by 9:30am.

Our NHS is amazing. I am proud to be in a country that has such a service. But mostly this last two weeks I have been truly struck at how all that I have come in contact with have listened, really listened despite the current situation and restrictions, and got me the care and outcome I needed. I can not say it loud enough, thank you to the staff at my GP’s, the walk in centre and in particular the amazing wonderful staff at SAU and Ward 1 of Huddersfield Royal Infirmary. I spoke, you listened, you cared and you healed me.

#SelfCare-Bonus Tip

By Jenny Bowers on

#SelfCare-Bonus Tip

Posted on February 17, 2021

On Random Acts Of Kindness day, here is a bonus #SelfCare video, all about being kind to yourself

#SelfCare-Tips 5 of my top 5

By Jenny Bowers on

#SelfCare-Tips 5 of my top 5

Posted on February 15, 2021

Here is the final (and for me the hardest!) top tip for #SelfCare

#SelfCare-Tips 3&4 of my top 5

By Jenny Bowers on

#SelfCare-Tips 3&4 of my top 5

Posted on February 12, 2021

Here are three and four of my five top tips for #selfcare

#SelfCare-Tips 1&2 of my top 5

By Jenny Bowers on

#SelfCare-Tips 1&2 of my top 5

Posted on February 11, 2021

Here are the first two of five top tips for #selfcare

#SelfCare-nearly half term!

By Jenny Bowers on

#SelfCare-nearly half term!

Posted on February 10, 2021

Jenny reminds us what half term is for!

What’s a Wellbeing Umbrella?

By Jenny Bowers on

What’s a Wellbeing Umbrella?

Posted on February 9, 2021

Listen to Jenny explaining what the wellbeing umbrella is.

Make sure you are under the umbrella too!

By Jenny Bowers on

Make sure you are under the umbrella too!

Posted on January 28, 2021

Wellbeing. It’s vital isn’t it? We talk about it frequently with staff, with our pupils, with families. We think about it regularly, for our staff, for our pupils, for our families. Many schools have wellbeing polices, wellbeing plans, wellbeing as part of their curriculum offer and wellbeing sessions or meetings for staff. But there is a storm out there all the time, and do we think enough about our wellbeing as leaders?

People often use the phrase ‘put on your oxygen mask before helping others’ as a quote for ensuring your own wellbeing, but I often think that this is about when entering crisis mode, or extremely high levels of stress. I am a fan of the umbrella metaphor, the umbrella that protects from the storm. So, make sure you’re also under the umbrella you hold. I find this metaphor really works, because it may also be, if you are holding the umbrella over your staff, who is holding an umbrella over you? Maybe you do have good coverage from an umbrella, and you are doing ok, that is great! (Make sure you stay under the umbrella!)

However, leaders sometimes find themselves in the position of just holding an umbrella to protect their staff and community from the storm, maybe patching and mending the umbrella as they are holding it. Their staff are protected; some may get a little splash from the storm, but on the whole they are warm and dry. But what of the leader? There they are, cold, wet and battered by the storm as they are not under that umbrella they are mending and holding.

Why is the leader not under the umbrella? This could be for many reasons, (or a combination of them)

  • They don’t feel they should be under the umbrella; it is not for ‘the leader’.
    • They feel they should ‘be strong’ they think that they are in service for their staff and community and should be holding it all together. It may be the leader as a martyr or the Superhead. It may be they feel that they are the holder, but not able to shelter under it.
  • The staff do not welcome them under the umbrella.
    • This is a cultural issue, an ‘us vs them’ mentality, seeing the leaders as others or separate. This could be dangerous and unhealthy in the long run.
  • They thought they had an umbrella over them, held by a COG or CEO.
    • This is so hard to come to terms with, when the support they thought was there is not. Or it is the leaky umbrella, the umbrella that folds and breaks with the slightest pressure.
  • They do not realise they are not under the umbrella…. until the lightning hits…
    • A very dangerous scenario, leading potentially to mental health issues and physical illness. The burnout and confusion-how did this happen? (when their resilience is worn away)

In this context I am not only thinking of headteachers (although sadly I do feel that it is many of them that are not under a good enough umbrella) it is also the deputies, the safeguarding leads and the SENDCo’s. The heads of department, the school business managers and the CEO’s.

So, if you realise you are not under the umbrella, what should you do? First of all you need to pause, reflect on why you are not, and get some help. This is not admitting that you are no good at your job, this is about saying I am a member of staff too, this is my right. Having some excellent coaching and/or supervision is a good tool to use to get your umbrella up, but you also need to have a great umbrella; what should your umbrella consist of?

Please take some time, no matter how busy you are, to check your wellbeing umbrella. Maybe you can remake the organisation/school/team umbrella with your staff. There are resources out there. (Purplemoon can project manage this for you, and we are not the only ones that can offer this). There are some excellent books and podcasts on this topic, Kat Howard’s book ‘Stop Talking about Wellbeing’ immediately springs to mind.

Wellbeing is not an add on, it is not the next cliché or buzzword. Everyone should be under the umbrella. Everyone should help decide what the umbrella is made from and maybe everyone should be holding the umbrella up. Everyone should be protected from the storm. Whatever the storm is.

Of course, work should also be ongoing to dissipate the storm(s), but perhaps that is another blog!

Is venting good for you?

By Jenny Bowers on

Is venting good for you?

Posted on January 18, 2021

 

Venting, good for the soul? A nice way to release anger and frustration? The satisfaction in the moment; getting what is in your head out into the world and letting someone else have a share in your feelings sounds good doesn’t it? But is it actually good for your long term wellbeing or is this a negative selfcare tool?

There was a point in my career when I would have been very much on the side of venting as a good thing. The job would be weighing heavily on me and something would just be tipping me over the edge. I’ be on a call to my dad and after the general niceties he’d ask me an innocuous question; ‘how’s work this week?’ Or maybe a not so innocuous one; ‘did you see X in the newspaper?’ and away I’d go. He would listen, empathise, sympathise and quite often get angry and frustrated on my behalf. Sometimes he would make me more frustrated as I had to explain something to him as an segue as he isn’t ‘in the field of education’. I’d then run out of steam and talk to my mum about something totally innocuous (a bird in the garden or something the neighbour had done) and I would laugh and move on. And I would be feeling better(?)

Sometimes it would be a teacher friend I would be venting to (and it might become a joint vent on the same subject, both adding the fuel to a raging burn) and then we’d realise we were on the tram, or in the pub and maybe this wasn’t a ‘safe space’ to be having this vent. Or it would be a teacher friend at a different establishment where we would end up almost in competition over who had it worse. Urgh.

Later it also became my super other half (not in the education sector at all) and he would get it full barrels at times, and just look at me with sympathy then go and get us both a beer and try and help me make sense of what I had just said. I am not sure he signed up to that at all when we moved in together!

I then started being coached and coaching ‘properly’. I think I came to it ‘late’ and we had been doing a kind of ad hoc muddle of coaching over the years from reading about it and the odd seminar. But, for me, finally attending some meaningful training (Thank you Paul Simmons at Independent Coaching and Oldham LA who provided this free to new heads) really made me realise how dangerous venting is:

  1. Was I venting in a safe space?
  2. was the person on the receiving end able to deal with the venting in a good way and were they emotionally equipped to deal with it?
  3. (Crucially) was it actually making me feel better longer term?

At this point I also went back to a very good friend who is an outstanding play therapist. She worked in my school leading filial play therapy and, (as she now lives in Australia) I sent her a message along the lines of ‘Remember when you were muttering about me needing Supervision and you were trying to get me to sit down and talk and I didn’t really get it? Well I do now!’ But still, supervision isn’t on the general radar of education folk. Coaching definitely is, and coaching will definitely reduce the need for the venting. So, why is supervision better (and safer) than venting?

  1. There is a safe space created where there is just you and the supervisor.
  2. The supervisor has no emotional attachment to the situation (especially when they are external to your organisation) or, if they are a line manager who has received supervision training, they know how to deal with their own emotional attachment to it.
  3. The supervisor will be equipped and ready to deal with, and address the need of, the supervisee. It is a planned and structured event.
  4. If the supervisor believes that medical intervention or specialist therapy is needed then they will advise the supervisee to seek this out (and if necessary stop the session so that this can occur).
  5. The issue/case/situation that is being discussed will be examined, addressed, thought about and some steps to move it on will be decided by the supervisee.
  6. If the supervisee is bringing the same issue/case/situation to sessions, then the underlying issue regarding this will be addressed.
  7. Supervision will have a long-term positive effect on your wellbeing and job satisfaction

Is venting good for your soul? When it comes to work I would argue no, not in the long term, and it can be dangerous in the short term depending what space it is done in and who with. Supervision and coaching are far better tools to have (and, I believe, they should be part and parcel of your wellbeing offer at work). However, don’t get me started on the current preferred playing style (that means they win) of the England rugby team…

How I got to here

By Jenny Bowers on

How I got to here

Posted on January 2, 2021

I knew I would be working in education, probably as a teacher, from the age of 3 after starting nursery. (My dad oft tells of his visit to pick me up as a surprise and the teacher asked him not to go in yet as I was ‘reading’ to a group of friends on the carpet with the staff quietly tidying up around me!)

This ambition stayed with me all the way through my primary and secondary school life, and whilst completing my A Levels I was often found as a volunteer in the EYFS/Y1 classes of the local primary school. However, I did not want to complete a BEd and go straight from school to university to school (as a teacher). Instead I opted for a four year BA(Hons) in American Studies, completing my third year in a university in upstate New York. (what an amazing experience that I still cherish).  Then on competition of this degree I took a year ‘off’ from education, instead working in a range of settings to ensure that teaching really was where I wanted to be (it was!). I then completed my PGCE at the University of Hertfordshire, with a specialism in EYFS so that my qualification covers 3 year olds to 11 year olds.

I was now a teacher, and loving it! I spent three years in a two form entry primary school with a nursery in Bishops Stortford and then decided to leave ‘the south’ and go to wonderful Yorkshire, landing in Sheffield. After a term of supply teaching I started a very fruitful and enjoyable stint in a two form entry primary with nursery on the outskirts of the city. Here I discovered that although I love being in the classroom, I wanted to do more for the children and my colleagues. I became the safeguarding Lead (then called the Child Protection Lead Teacher) and a year later became the SENDCo. I loved the collaboration, the learning, the achievements and the sheer unexpectedness of what these dual roles brought into my life. However, I did not enjoy the stress, the frustrations, the anxiety of the wait for support for children, or sharing the strain of the struggles of the families and the sheer weight of paperwork.

I then took all of this experience and in 2011 became a deputy head for a school in a deprived area of Barnsley. This was a ‘non-teaching’ role and I remained the lead for safeguarding, SEND and disadvantaged children. I thought that I would find fully stepping out of the classroom hard, but instead I discovered that supporting families and developing and supporting the teachers and support staff within the school incredibly rewarding. I continued to collaborate in new ways, with play therapists, other leaders, other agencies and also had the opportunity to sit on the safeguarding board that was formed in Barnsley after a disappointing LA Ofsted inspection.

In 2014 I relocated to West Yorkshire, and became the non-teaching Deputy Head of a school in Oldham. Again, I was the lead for safeguarding, SEND, disadvantaged children and I also line-managed the support staff, creating a performance management cycle for them that mirrored the teachers and enabled them to share their strengths and to support the development of their areas of need.

I became actively involved in the SEND hub, the local collab of leaders, and the Behaviour and Attendance Hub within the local authority. In these Hubs and collabs I was involved in creating model policies, guidance and toolkits for staff in primary schools. I worked with colleagues from other schools and agencies and regularly discussed the need for coaching and supervision within educational settings to support the wellbeing of staff, to increase retention and ensure that staff were being fully supported to be the best they could be in the classroom.

In 2017 I became the head of the school. I set about revitalising the curriculum, embedding coaching through my performance management methods and trying to ensure that the school was a happy and healthy place for the children, staff and community.

This year (2020) I made the decision to leave my role as headteacher and I want to continue my journey to change the culture within education to ensure that all staff have a safe and healthy place to work, that they are valued, celebrated and supported and that the process of supervision, which is common in health and social care, becomes a cornerstone of practice for education settings.  Coaching and supervision has a direct positive impact on wellbeing, retention, absence management and classroom practice and I truly love delivering it!