Leadership

Purplemoon Monthly Musings – November-Getting to the heart of it, Part Two-Congruence yes, Collusion no

By Jenny Bowers on

Purplemoon Monthly Musing

Posted 26th November 2025

Getting to the Heart of It-Part 2- Congruence Yes, Collusion No.- a Purplemoon Monthly Musing

Welcome to Purplemoon Monthly Musings.

On the final Wednesday of every month Jenny will be posting out about a theme that has been appearing in her work, or her life, across all sectors. It could be a topic that particularly resonates with you, or it might be a new concept or idea to you. Either way the aim is to give voice to some thoughts, ponder some questions and explore what this might mean to us as individuals and as a community. Jenny will always aim to credit original sources as she explores the musings title and will welcome your comments and contributions to keep the musing going! This blog is also published on LinkedIn. Follow Jenny here.

Welcome to part two of the ‘Getting to the heart of it’ trilogy. Some of you may have noticed that the purplemoon monthly musing inadvertently took a break in October! It wasn’t intentional, it is that I found part two tricky to coalesce.

This is because congruence is difficult at times,  and collusion can really turn up unintentionally when you are deeply relational and humanistic in your supervision, and creating psychological safety is of paramount importance.

 

What I do know is supervision is one of the most powerful spaces in leadership. It’s where we pause, reflect, and recalibrate. For education leaders, it’s a lifeline, a chance to process complexity and find clarity. To explore and reflect on self as well as others. For supervisors, it’s a responsibility, a commitment to hold space that is safe, honest, growth-oriented with a wellbeing lens. But within this dynamic, a subtle tension often arises: the pull between congruence and collusion.

Congruence is about alignment. It’s when our values, words, and actions harmonise. In supervision, congruence means showing up authentically—whether you’re the one offering guidance or the one receiving it. It’s about integrity: saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and acting in ways that reflect your principles. Congruence builds trust and therefore a psychologically safe space. It creates a foundation where real learning and wellbeing can flourish.

Collusion, on the other hand, is the quiet compromise. It’s the nod of agreement when your gut says, This needs exploring. It’s the temptation to avoid discomfort for the sake of harmony. Collusion can feel like kindness, but it’s not. It’s avoidance dressed up as empathy. And while it may soothe in the short term, it erodes growth in the long term.

 

So how does this show up in supervision?

For supervisors, the risk of collusion often comes when a supervisee shares something that feels ethically grey or professionally concerning. You might think, I don’t want to damage trust, and choose silence. But trust isn’t built on avoidance—it’s built on honesty delivered with care. Congruence means naming what you notice: I hear your perspective, and I wonder if we can explore the implications together. It’s not about confrontation; it’s about curiosity and courage.

For education leaders, collusion can look like self-protection. You might hold back in supervision because admitting uncertainty feels risky. You might agree with suggestions, ideas or comments you don’t believe in because challenging feels uncomfortable. But supervision is not a performance—it’s a partnership. Congruence means bringing your whole self into the conversation: your doubts, your questions, your convictions. It’s about trusting that growth comes through honesty, not through pretending.

Here’s the truth: congruence is hard. It asks us to be clear about our values and brave enough to live them out. It asks supervisors to balance support with challenge, and supervisees to embrace vulnerability without fear. But when both sides commit to congruence, supervision becomes transformative.

What does this look like in practice?

  • For supervisors:
    • Hold boundaries with compassion. Empathise without excusing.
    • Name what you notice. Sometimes the most supportive act is surfacing what’s unsaid: I sense some tension—shall we explore that?
    • Stay anchored in purpose. Supervision is not about pleasing; it’s about partnering for growth.
  • For supervisees:
    • Bring your authentic self. Share the wins and the worries.
    • Ask for challenge as well as support. Growth rarely happens in comfort zones.
    • Reflect on alignment. Where do your actions match your values—and where do they drift?

Both roles require courage and compassion. Courage to speak truth, even when silence feels safer. Compassion to hold differences without judgement. When these qualities meet, supervision becomes a space of integrity—a place where leaders are not just managed but mentored, not just supported but strengthened.

So here’s the invitation for this month:

  • If you supervise, notice where collusion tempts you. Where do you soften truths or avoid challenge? What would congruence look like instead?
  • If you are supervised, notice where you hold back. Where do you agree for ease rather than honesty? What would it mean to show up whole?

Because getting to the heart of it is not about perfection. It’s about presence—anchored, authentic, and willing to walk the harder path for the sake of growth. Congruence calls us to alignment, even when it’s uncomfortable. Collusion tempts us with ease, but it costs us trust—and ultimately, wellbeing.

Supervision done well is a courageous conversation. Let’s make it count.

Purplemoon Monthly Musings – August-Collaboration-What is in it for me?

By Jenny Bowers on

Purplemoon Monthly Musing

Posted 27th August 2025

Collaboration, what's in it for me? - a Purplemoon Monthly Musing

Welcome to Purplemoon Monthly Musings.

On the final Wednesday of every month Jenny will be posting out about a theme that has been appearing in her work, or her life, across all sectors. It could be a topic that particularly resonates with you, or it might be a new concept or idea to you. Either way the aim is to give voice to some thoughts, ponder some questions and explore what this might mean to us as individuals and as a community. Jenny will always aim to credit original sources as she explores the musings title and will welcome your comments and contributions to keep the musing going! This blog is also published on LinkedIn. Follow Jenny here.

Definition: ‘the action of working with someone to produce something’

This month the musing is considering collaboration. Something that I have always considered a good thing. As someone naturally relational, the idea of collaborating with others has always been something I am drawn to. Good old fashioned ‘group work’. 

However, sometimes collaboration doesn’t quite feel right, it may be that you thought the aim was collaboration, but in fact it was someone ‘telling you’ what to do or how to do it, or the other end of that spectrum, it felt like you were doing all the input and sharing all your knowledge and ideas, which the other then took. Or the key factor that you thought was at the heart of your collaboration is not what it seemed to be for others.

Collaboration can also fall down when you are collaborating with someone who is a mirror of you, that has the same strengths, experiences or knowledge base. Here you might have a really nice conversation, but the output is not quite as creative or boundary pushing as you had hoped, or the discipline of the meeting disappeared as you both conversed and went of on tangents as you are having a ‘catch up’.

So what does powerful and effective collaboration need? How can you discern it from a jolly old catch up, from information sharing or from a networking meeting? I believe it needs these five factors below:

  1. People with different knowledge, experience and/or opinions
  2. An aim for an end product/service/item
  3. A willingness to give and take (all your ideas might be good ideas, but not all can be utilised)
  4. A structure (or agreement) for moving forward, with each person willing to be responsible for something
  5. Time frames

What is not listed here is an agenda, as collaboration does not have to be planned and structured; spontaneous collaboration can be unexpected, productive and fun! However, for the collaboration to have a final product/service/agreement then subsequent meetings would benefit from an agenda.

For collaboration to truly succeed, it’s essential to establish a shared understanding of what success looks like. How will you, as a group or pair, know when you’ve achieved your goal? Clear, agreed-upon success criteria provide direction and help measure progress.

But success isn’t just collective, it’s also personal. Each individual brings their own internal criteria, shaped by personal motivations and needs. These may include a desire for recognition, a sense of fulfilment, or tangible rewards. Acknowledging these personal drivers isn’t selfish, it’s human. When these needs go unnamed or unmet, frustration and misalignment can arise.

That’s why effective collaboration must include space for individual success. Make it a priority to understand and validate what each person hopes to gain. By doing so, you will have an inclusive, motivated, and harmonious team dynamic.

As those of us in education move into a new academic year, may you have many happy collaborations, and for those of you entering the last third of the year, may it be a productive and collaborative third.

Leadership Horizons, the power of being outdoors

By Jenny Bowers on

Leadership Horizons, the power of being outdoors

Posted on July 20, 2021

What do you get when you add a group of open-minded coaches, expert facilitators, the lake district and about 6 hours of time?

The answer is the feeling of being part of a something special, a lifting of soul and clarity of direction!

But first a bit of background:

I may have started my coaching journey many years ago, but in 2017 I met the truly outstanding Dr Paul Simmons as a new head in Oldham. The LA had teamed up with him (www.independentcoaching.org) to produce a program of support for new heads, and I embraced the coaching part of this wholeheartedly, finally a coaching method secure in theory, ethics and with a strong structure to work within. I then moved to the part two, whilst also sending my leadership team on part one, used the structure in my performance management meetings with staff and our senior leadership team meetings and progressed to part three.

When I left my headship in 2020, I was in contact with Paul as I considered the next stage of my journey. With sound advice and his support I ensured I completed part three, joined the executive coaching, added accredited supervision to my portfolio (my absolute passion for wellbeing) and embarked on my current chapter as Purplemoon.

Leadership Horizons Pilot

Paul, and his wife Marian, had been considering a day of coaching for coaches embedded in nature for a while. Nature and being outside as positive wellbeing factors have been a big identified as a feature of the pandemic Lockdowns and so when he approached me to ask if I would be interested in participating in a pilot day about coaching ‘in-situ’ in the lake district I jumped at the chance. As did nine others!

We gathered (socially distanced!) between 9-9:30 in a lovely room that was part of the University of Cumbria. We discussed what had brought us there, the theory and practice behind leadership coaching, and thought about

we then set off into the countryside, four of us opting for a shorter walk and then a sit in pleasant surrounds, and six opting for a longer walk and talk. (yes, I was in the walk and sit group!) we paired up, we coached, we came together for a packed lunch and chat, we changed locations and coached again in our pairs. We then met up as a whole group again to reflect on the day-our individual thoughts and learning, and our thoughts and learning as a group. We then drifted back home around 3pm, after all agreeing that it had been a remarkable day.

Remarkable Day Reflections

Whenever I have attended coaching sessions facilitated by Paul I have felt invigorated, have got clarity of next steps and also learnt more about being a coach. This day was no exception, however this day held something more, something deeper and we all felt it.

One phrase that has stayed with me is the difference between ‘feeling knowledge’ and the ‘knowing knowledge’, I know that being in nature is powerful and positive, but after this day I also truly felt it enhance and deepen the coaching experience. There was synergy between the heart and the head in a different way at the end of the sessions. What brought this about?

  1. Being outside brought different energy, it was more tranquil, less hasty or pressured- I also enjoyed not having to be in constant eye contact as I sat next to my coach rather than opposite across a desk/table. I fiddled with grass and flowers around me (as did she) and did not feel self-conscious about fiddling. Pauses were natural and mindful and invited further thoughts and discussion.
  2. I love working in metaphor and using the vista around me to describe my reality and my ideal, and work out how to get to that horizon, really helped both me and my coaching partner to depersonalise the issue/thoughts, describe them with rich language and give greater weight to our thinking. Whilst also being an aide memoir for the coach so more cognitive space could be given to support rather than remembering or note taking.
  3. Overall it felt very embryonic but also retained the structures and methods we all were so familiar with. Nothing was forced and for me there was less pressure as I felt unconstrained by time and the physical presence of work/workplace. I found the walking part as the nice bit of small talk, the shedding off of my ‘to-do’ list or my anxieties, frustrations or woes as I enjoyed the physicality of walking uphill and the taking in of the sights and sounds. When we sat, we paused and truly let go as we established our anchor for coaching in the surroundings, and then we delved deeper into the near, middle and far horizons.

Would I do it again? Absolutely! Am I looking into how I can incorporate this into my practise as a coach and supervision, oh yes!

Would it have been different if it had rained? Maybe, although we all gelt that some light drizzle wouldn’t have stopped us, a storm would have given us a different vista and energy, but there was always the safety of the building!

What is Listening?

By Jenny Bowers on

What is Listening?

Posted on March 22, 2021


Listening
I’ve had a few different conversations recently about listening: What the point of listening is and how we do (or don’t!) Listen!
As a daughter, sister, partner, friend, teacher and leader I have said ‘you are not listening to me!’ or ‘are you listening to me? ‘many times. Often with growing frustration. I’ve had it said to me from my brother, parents, partner, friends, a child, staff line manager and member of staff. There have also been times when I simply haven’t spoken up as I was sure the audience wouldn’t listen to me.
What I have come to realise, through my experience and through pulling together different strands of training over the years, is that there are many different types of listening, and may different ways to respond to someone when you have listened to them. I’m also really interested when people talk about ‘the listening ear’ and ‘active listening’- again there are quite a few facets to both of these descriptors.
What I do know is that when I am participating in a discussion as a coach or as a supervisor I have an intensive focus on me listening effectively and draw on my experience of listening and being listened to.
So here are my thoughts;

Listening to respond

This is where you may end up in a disagreement or misunderstanding if the emotions behind it are powerful and beginning to overwhelm.

However, there is a place for this, as there are times when it is a question or query that is being said.

Listening to understandThis is a big part of coaching and supervision and effective leadership. Yes, you will still be responding, but it is about ensuring that you are truly hearing what is being said to you, through words and through non-verbal cues so that your response is measured, calm and worthwhile
Listening to empathise and/or sympathiseWe have all had those moments when someone just wants to vent, or share something, good or bad. Here what they want is acknowledgement and validation.
Listen to give advice/solutionsThis is mentoring or when you are seen as the expert. Someone wants or needs you to give them a solution, or want you to advise what you would do in their position. Be warned, be sure that this IS what they want, or you may end up with frustration!
Listen to ensure the person has understood you and what you have saidThis became increasingly important for me when launching initiatives or trying to shift culture. I had had a discussion, I thought what I said was clear and obvious, but then I would ask a key question, or ‘check for feedback’ and what they would say was something different, So do this listening at key points so that you are making sure they have really grasped the main points that you wanted them to, and they understand them.
Listening to see who has the biggest voice and who is not engaging or being drowned outI am often fascinated by team dynamics, and will often sit back, watch and listen to a group discussion. Who is leading, who is engaging what listening styles, who is being silent and disengaging, who looks animated and who looks confused? And is there a way to rebalance or check in?
Listening to see who has the same values, ethics and ideals as us and who doesn’t.We often seek allies and gravitate to those that seem similar to ourselves. Particularly in friendships, in employment and we desire it in family. Having that internal debate to decide shall I engage in this discussion in the pub, around coffee stand at the conference, in the staff room can sometimes lead us to decide no, and this is ok!

What I do know is that sometimes listening is an effort, particularly when stressed or tired or desperately trying to get something done to a deadline! I also know it is ok to say ‘I cant listen just now, but lets talk in the morning, in an hour or let me grab a coffee first.’ All listening types require dialogue, and acknowledging that you can’t listen right now is better than half listening!

But what is it you do?

By Jenny Bowers on

But what is it you do?

Posted on March 3, 2021

What do I do? Here is a video explaining what I do.